Mentor of a different sort

(JW: Written as a draft for my next Death Day, 1/17/2023)

"Metaphorically, I hope to build a stable canoe and put it out into this river and it's going to take me somewhere, and I can't presume to know where that is. The only thing I can commit to doing is using my paddle as little as possible. I'll use my paddle if I go into still waters; I'll use my paddle if I go into the rapids. But, I'm trusting that the river is going to take me somewhere that I can't imagine." (1)

-- Robert Walters, long-time friend and associate of Joseph Campbell as well as president of the Joseph Campbell Foundation

Recently, a kindred spirit and I decided to use Campbell's The Hero's Journey as a template for a journey into soul. The beginning, as beginnings are wont to do, was something of a snail trail, however, after a few weeks, we were feeling grounded and making some progress. We even successfully threaded the Refusal of the Call (step 3).

I soon embraced Bob Walters' metaphor of the canoe on the river of life and began to recognize when I was paddling frantically to try to control the direction and pace of our journey. It felt like, after searching for so long, I had finally found the way, the path that would take me deeper into my soul.

Then, in the midst of Step 4: Meeting the Mentor, I woke up to a question: Where the hell are the women? The line of men who had joined our firmament was long and illustrious: Campbell, Jung, Christopher Vogler, Robert Walters, Stuart Brown, the many luminaries of the film world, a legion of writers including Parker Palmer, Richard Rohr, and Oliver Burkeman. But, where were the women?

In his deep immersion into the world's mythology, did Campbell come back with a boon just for men? Was his story arc just for masculine heroes? I didn't like the response I found.

Maureen Murdock, a student of Campbell's, noticed the chasm and wrote The Heroine's Journey with a similar, but different, story pattern and model. She writes that when she asked Campbell about the heroine's journey, he responded:

“Women don’t need to make the journey. In the whole mythological tradition the woman is there. All she has to do is to realize that she’s the place that people are trying to get to” (Campbell, 1981).

The idea of being considered a place, a fixed object without agency, is deeply disturbing, and I'm grasping for how to go forward on this journey. I have written to the Joseph Campbell Foundation to see if that quote is an accurate representation of his opinion.

In the meantime, I am going to adopt Maureen Murdock as a guide and read other women writers to try to reach a balanced view of this journey. One of the wise men I have worked for always said, "Take the best and leave the rest." That seems like sound advice for this moment.

I'm not sure if all of this is me trying to paddle my way forward or if it's the river taking me into a rapids I need to be more aware of. It does make me think that even though there are two of us taking this journey together, we are in separate canoes on separate rivers. Reminds me of (another man!) Kahlil Gibran's wisdom:

"But let there be spaces in your togetherness, 

let the winds of the heavens dance between you."