Friday Notes, 1/20/2023

JW: Every time we have conversation like today's, I feel safer, more confident and closer to you.

Shadow - make time and space for active discussion of shadow and fears.

                  Add tab on blog.

                  Fears of abandonment, insecurity, being lost, inadequate.

Feelings - frequent focus on feelings, actively asking "How are you feeling?" and voluntarily reporting how we are feeling, knowing that it is important to both of us to know how we're each feeling.

Contract - stabilize our adventure with a contract and agreements. Create a circle of trust, where each of us feels safe to be our whole self, knowing that we will each show up even when the journey gets rocky, knowing and accepting that it will get rocky and probably scary. Not expecting perfect alignment; perhaps even seeking out diversity so that it, too, can be embraced. Honoring the process and each other.

Intentionally bringing our whole self into the circle of trust and safety. And creating agreements that keep the circle safe, such as confidentiality,* practicing Parker's four guidelines: "no fixing, no saving, no correcting, no advising," and knowing that we will each need to be reminded (gently) when we forget.

**I feel this needs an expansion since you mentioned it and I write a lot. I have little problem exposing my faults to the world in my writing (although I probably soften them and add a bit of rouge here and there). However, I never write about others in a bad or revealing light. I truly believe we are on sacred ground (see below), and I will never break our confidence in writing or in conversation with others.

Sacred Ground - we talked about integrity and that this commitment was part of our integrity. However, we didn't talk about "sacred" which is something I've been thinking a lot about. What is sacred to me? What is sacred to you? I feel that this path we're on is somehow "sacred ground." It is a journey into ourselves and something more. The alignment we have surprisingly found seems like a gift, and in some ways, a responsibility to bring forth a blessing from it. (Could this be the Holy Grail?)

No Ghosting - an undiscussed, but requested, agreement. As all things change, this adventure may not always serve one or both of us. What I would like to request, or at least talk about, is a commitment to an honest, caring, and graceful ending should that ever be needed. I can commit to being here unless and until we agree that it's time to stop. (This was painful to write.)

Journal Breaks - an agreement to take journal breaks to allow each of us time to integrate and process individually the work we're doing together ... and to share our journal writings as we feel willing to, knowing that they are welcomed into the space we are creating.

Composition and design - this adventure we are creating is ours and we get to do it  our way. There are no goals or expected outcomes other than it is serving both of us as well as the safe container we are creating. We can use the Hero's Journey but are in no way limited to it.

Aspirations and intentions - we will start our retreats by creating our sacred circle and stating our aspirations and intentions. (We didn't exactly say this so feel free to edit.)

Minutes submitted to the Board of Us, 1/20/2023

Corrections and additions should be submitted in triplicate no later than 5:00 p.m. 1/21/2023

(... or in the case of the sole co-creator, by comment anytime in the not-too-distant future.)