JW: Revelation from a four-letter word

 

Nothing stands alone

(Long, convoluted, and revealing for me.)

Morning google wandering turns up:

"We are all familiar with the purpose of tests, from the schoolroom to the workplace, but do we fully grasp their significance in our personal lives?

Tests are a fundamental part of the human experience, marking our rites of passage and shaping our journey toward personal growth and transformation." -- ThisJungianLife ... episode "tests"

Test. The word lands in different place this morning: a place different from "challenge" or "goal." This word takes me to a place of questioning my willingness to learn, grow, transform ... even suffer in order to win a desired triumph or transformation?

Yesterday, I patiently explained to a writer friend all the reasons why I simply can't follow the fabled book-writing approach of agent-publisher-book-success. Some of the barriers I listed are endemic to the current publishing industry with its single-minded focus on the bottomline. Other walls stand solidly in my own round house of skills, talents, and preferences, the biggest being I don't have an idea I'm passionate enough about to focus on it for the two or three years it would take to develop, write, and promote a book.

Currently, I'm in that liminal space between projects when all things are possible, and fantasies of becoming a butterfly beckon. I could write a book (I've done it before, several times) ... IF I had that grand, motivating idea ... but, even then I would still face the Great Wall of the publishing industry ... or, just as daunting, the overwhelming ennui that rushes in when I think of the time-sucking grind of marketing a self-published book.

Top that off with a whipped, double topping of doubt and we're back to inertia and the seduction of fantasy.

Again from the podcast that prompted this thread of thinking:

"Suffering and transformation are inextricably linked. We must be willing to face our pain and embrace the unconscious conflict resolution that comes with the process of refinement. As we grow beyond our limits, we discover that growth and acceptance are not mutually exclusive. We can accept our flaws and weaknesses while also striving to be better."

What if I just considered whichever potential new project-to-be-chosen as a test ... a rite of passage ... a barrier-breaking project worthy of  a whole-self "Yes!"?

Then Maslow taps me on the shoulder reminding me that a man with a hammer in his hand, sees everything as a nail. Or, in my case, a writer with a book in her past, sees the future as another book. Maybe the test wants something new to come in. Something I don't know how to do. Something that would take me down a new path, introduce me to new people, show me new worlds, somehow bring a boon to the world.

Boon. The Holy Grail of the hero's journey; the bringing back of a benefit to the world. I feel a shift as the world circles back to where it launched a new journey only a few months ago ... re-connecting me to the movie Finding Joe, reminding me of the opening quote from Joseph Campbell:

Another word joins the mix: Test - Boon - Barrier-breaking - Alive, leaving me with four questions to help evaluate potential projects:

1. What would Test me?
2. Would it be a Barrier-breaking experience?
3. What would be its Boon for the world?
4. Would it make me feel Alive?

Conclusion: 

More work needed to identify a project that would answer the four questions ... then the sudden sound of screeching brakes stops me.

Something is still niggling around the edges: 

something not addressed, something important.

I go back to the stages of the hero's journey and it hits me: it's an individual journey. While there is an important focus on mentors and allies, the hero marches forward, answering the call, rejecting the call, crossing the threshold, going through the ordeals, experiencing death and rebirth, and returning with the boon as an individual, the hero.

And, that's exactly right. 

We are all born alone and die alone. 

Everything we do along the way is done alone.

Except it's not. 

We're a community.

Our bodies are a community of species: human, bacteria, fungi, viruses, protozoa and who knows what else that hasn't even been identified yet. Current estimates are that we have about 10 times as many microbial cells as human cells.

And, that's just the internal part of us; it doesn't begin to explain how we are interconnected and interdependent with the Universe around us. The part of us that thinks we're alone is fundamentally wrong. I want to acknowledge that in my next project. I want to drop my misperception of myself as a lone ranger and just one person in the wide world. I am simply a part of a web of life, of time and space.

I want my next project to reflect that, to be part of a field, a network, a community, a collaboration, an alliance focused on a better life and a better world.

Well, shit, Joyce ... better talk to Elon Musk.

No way! ... just add this fifth word:

Test - Boon - Barrier-breaking - Alive- Collaboration

What would Test me?

Would it be a Barrier-breaking experience?

What would be its Boon for the world?

Would it make me feel Alive?

How could it become a Collaboration?