JW: Agreement for the Journey: DRAFT!!!

 It occurs to me that we began this journey with little clarity of what we wanted to accomplish ... although I believe you had more of a sense of what you wanted than I did. This morning, I believe some personal clarity arrived and I wonder if the following makes sense for you ... or at least as a conversation thread for Julian.

EWR I think my goal is only now coming into focus as I have been chasing down a lot of "false positives". Along with that has come some clarity about how I'd ideally like the process to work. 

The clarity of yesterday's call, for me, is a coming back to the purposes we had at the beginning of this journey: finding our own holy grail which would also give us a boon that could be shared with others. Holding on to that, I feel a need to have a more spelled out agreement of sorts, something we can return to if either of us feels out of alignment or a need to self-regulate. Perhaps this is just something I need to hold on to for my personal clarity.

EWR no I think it's a good idea. We tried a completely open, unstructured approach and it produced some anxiety and confusion, so now it feels right to put some structure into place. 

This is a DRAFT!!!

Assumption: Both of us are trying to heal the wounds of our lives and searching for our own transformation and growth in our own ways.

EWR I don't know about healing wounds so much as a way to come to grips with things that have felt elusive and unattainable - but transformation gets at it (despite being an overused and intimidating word). Growth, certainly. I have a sense of wanting to deal with old issues in new ways, so they don't seem so intractable. 

Principles to support our journey, as well as our individual growth:

• create and maintain a circle of trust which includes kindness, non-judgmental listening, privacy regarding our shared stories and revelations, honesty, and vulnerability
• avoid expectations of the journey or of each other
• stay focused on the purpose of the journey and the boundaries required to protect our growth and transformation on it
• embrace and accept our individual needs, boundaries, and limitations non-judgmentally
• share accountability for the journey and for holding the aspirations of each other

EWR that's a good list and can serve as a useful point of reference going forward. I suspect rather than avoiding expectations we will have to articulate, question and revise them as we go along, since it's unlikely we can avoid having them, given the stakes. 

The container to hold and support our individual growth and the effectiveness of this journey depends on :

• time spent focusing on the journey and our individual aspirations
• keeping an open channel of communication through weekly calls, emails, texts, blog posts, and periodic retreats
• talking through difficulties that arise (EWR I would add), and listening to what we are hearing from each other and from ourselves. My sense is that you are well-schooled in this sort of self-monitoring. I certainly am. We have to employ the skills to stay the course. 
• committing, as much as possible, to staying the course through 2023.