EWR: Resilience and Persistence

I found this piece this morning while I was rummaging about my Dropbox files. Apparently I wrote it in 2017 in response to some program I was considering at the time. It's not exactly about resilience but I think it speaks to my experience.

 What in your life, both past and present, has led you to consider claiming the identity of a Warrior for the Human Spirit?  When have you acted as one (think of specific incidents)? What were the conditions that compelled you to take action or to take a stand as a Warrior?

The first thing that comes to mind when I contemplate this question is the notion that a warrior is steadfast.  Probably no other aspect of my ongoing quest for enlightenment has been more challenging for me then being consistent and resilient in pursuing my goals and actualizing my values. I have felt strong convictions and fostered significant insights, only have all that dissipate in a matter of days or weeks. My nemesis in this regard has always been a sense of futility and resignation in the face of what seems like overwhelming indifference and hostility to the ideals of a noble human life.

I’ve recognized on many occasions that some of this lassitude results from not feeling the commitment to a group larger than myself. A group that would help sustain my commitments. I have always shied away from joining groups because of my fears that it will result in my becoming constrained and diminished. This, in turn, likely results from my Catholic upbringing which created and oppressive sense of submitting to authority and crushing my individual spirit.

 

 And yet I can recognize in myself a lifelong desire just take a stand for what is right, to do the right thing, even at considerable personal cost, and to conduct myself in an exemplary manner. I can recall incidents from my childhood and youth where I was able to summon up the courage to do what was right. I realized at the time that doing the right thing might not result in my being perceived as a hero or bring me the accolades that I desired, or even lead to any worldly success.

 

Several incidents come to mind. Choosing to stay with my friend who was restricted to his yard instead of leaving him to run off with the rest of my friends who were entirely willing to forsake him in order to have fun and excitement. Facing off with the Providence police during our impromptu sit-in to protest the Vietnam War.  Shielding a supervisor who is being menaced by one of the clients at the welfare office where I worked.

As Warriors, we aspire to be the presence of insight and compassion.  We train our minds to become more aware and less reactive so that we don’t complicate situations with our own needs and filters.  We also aspire to not add to the fear and aggression increasing in this time.  These capacities require a dedicated commitment to training.  In your life experience, where have you already experienced the value of a disciplined approach to training yourself, in any area?

The first thing that comes to mind is the dedication to getting my PhD. I knew there was a set of standards that I would have to meet in order to achieve my goal of not only getting a degree, but also maintaining 4.0 GPA. Probably the most challenging course in the program was Learning and Motivation, which required my committing to memory over 50 reinforcement schedules in order to get an A on the test. I wonder now what was my motivation for doing that? Partly, it was to prove to myself and others that I was really capable of doing that level of academic work. Academia was my saving grace as a young man, it’s where I felt most competent and most esteemed.   

My approach to learning guitar was persistent but not particularly disciplined.  I went about it with a zeal that was driven by my aspirations to be a rock’n roll star like my idols. What was lacking was getting someone to show me how to play. For some reason I never really tried to find a teacher, perhaps because I knew I wouldn’t have the discipline to practice in the traditional sense of playing scales and study pieces.  

When I was first learning counseling skills, I was also very persistent, particularly learning how to listen actively. I recall that the reinforcement for doing so was immediate and dramatic. I was astonished to have my practicum clients open up and talk about themselves in a way that was immediate and authentic. I was greatly impressed the power of listening.