JW: More Questions: My Questions

 This morning, in my rush toward my next self-imposed Substack deadline, I stopped and began to write questions ... my questions.

• Why do I want to journal, read about shamanism, Anam Cara, The Hero's Journey, Joseph Campbell, Carl Jung, spirit, nature ... and so on?
• What's in it for me to take drugs, look for a transformational experience?
• What do I want that I apparently don't have?
• Why am I working so hard to create a Substack Guide for people I don't know and on a schedule they don't care about?
• Why do I want to play the Substack game of subscribers and paid subscriptions?
• What am I looking for? And what would make all this effort worthwhile?
• What admiration, positive regard, love, success, accomplishment would fill in the gap that pushes me into struggling?
• What is that gap? What if I could just step across it?
• Why am I rushing? Where am I rushing to?
• What would happen if I slowed down and savored every moment and morsel of life?
• What if I thought I have all the time I need to be who I am?
• What if I'm already who I am?
• What if I'm already connected to the Universe, to all that is?
• What if I only have to breathe in what's already available to me?
• What if we did nothing in Julian except enjoy life and being in good company?

hmmmmmm?